Primary Author: Katlego Noko Makhwiting

Secondary Author: Phillimon Sefake

Secondary Author: Karabo Mufiri

Umjolo uya nyisa, umjolo the dating, umjolo the scam. These are the words we hear daily regarding dating, left right and centre people are complaining of being hurt by their partners, being cheated on, not being given attention and all those other things.

There are a lot of things that cause dating to be a painful experience instead of being all fun and jolly-jolly the biggest mistake of all times is dating but not dating for love, the things we see in this world are really shocking, I mean people date someone because they have money, or they drive beautiful cars or they’re well known, others just date for the sake of sex, how do you all manage to do that, how do you have sex with someone you don’t even love? At the end of the day you will be crying saying umjolo this umjolo that yet you called it upon yourself.

Dating is dangerous to teenagers in South Africa. Why? Some teens are using threats, insults, obsessive monitoring, continuous texting, humiliation, intimidation, isolation or stalking to try to exert power and control. Teen dating violence is very dangerous because teenagers are vulnerable and often afraid to tell a parent or a friend about what is happening to them.

It is said to be an emotional display that consumes the strength of loneliness on a person. Dating is an interaction between two opposite genders that share mutual benefits of sharing the emotional, psychological and physical connection. When two people reach an agreement of engaging themselves as one it’s a bond that teaches the conspiracy of life journey. 90% of people in the world date with the intention of meeting the right one to build a home with that would stabilize the necessity of life in general.

The beauty of it is written with elements which define the time period of how successful a relationship can be which are namely loyalty, trust, care, respect, honesty, commitment, communication, compromise and sacrifice and most of all love. Dating is said to be a strong tool that most use to construct a foundation of a family figure that’s why we can in other words define it as ” future preparing experience” because it grooms you into becoming the greater person of who you are.

According to life statistic young minds mature early especially girls because at the age of 12 years their puberty stage is encountered that’s why at the end we see young children around the street corners experiencing what is said to be mjolo the dating. In life we’re offered a choice to either do good or bad so in some cases people experience bad moments of a relationship that’s why some end up leading to breakup and some lead to obsessions that traumatize the ones at emotional break though, love is said to be precious that’s why we date to educate our emotional stability as a couple.

In young adulthood, females who had experienced teen dating violence reported increased depression symptoms and were 1.5 times more likely to binge drink or smoke and twice as likely to have suicidal thoughts. Males who had experienced teen dating violence reported more anti-social behaviors, were 1.3 times more likely to use marijuana and twice as likely to have suicidal thoughts.

To avoid all the unnecessary pains and stress, date someone who loves you, whom you also love, not because of what they have, but genuinely so, people need to understand that dating is a way or a route should I say that will lead you to marriage, that means commitment, so if you still want to fool around, stop lying to yourself saying you’re dating, no you’re not, but instead you’re just exploring, do not confuse the two.

Dating, especially during teenage years, is thought to be an important way for young people to build self-identity, develop social skills, learn about other people, and grow emotional.

nb: we spend so much time waiting to be loved, hoping love will find us, searching, yearning for that special love. To be able to be loved, you must love and respect yourself as much as you do others, understanding the effects of loving yourself will only enhance your ability to love others. But doing so, you’re enabling positive energy and allowing for great situations to occur in your life.

Thank you so much for taking your precious time to read this article, what are your intentions for dating? do you date for money or for love, do you date someone for what they have or for who they’re. Let the loyalty, trust, care, respect, honesty reign forever


Poet Katt
Poet Phil
Poet Karabo

Best regards

By admin

Phillimon Sefake is a Creative writer and a Literary scholar

7 thoughts on “Umjolo the dating”
  1. Mjolo neh. I love this really, its speaking to a few people I know an I really must forward this to em. Otherwise your work is fantastic if I were to rate it out of 10 I’d give it 9.9

  2. mjojo bafethu, eish Thank you, guys… It’s good to hear people thoughts about dating

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